The Pleasure Agenda: Finding Your Erotic Pleasure Points
An Educational Series For Making Pleasure Your Favorite Habit
I was sinking into the most sensuous experience of my life. My body was being worshiped and caressed by multiple hands. I was being delicately fed chocolate while two different voices whispered and purred into each of my ears. Erotic music drummed around the room while the sounds of moans and exhales drifted into the air. I could smell heat, oil, chocolate, and mild perfume. I could see everything in my mind’s eye even as I stared into the darkness behind my eyelids. I could feel the pleasure buzzing around me, through me. I felt safe and cared for. It was one of the most erotic experiences I’d ever had. There was no pressure, no forcing, no performing, no orgasm. It was simply permission to be present and surrender to my senses. My curiosity took charge, leading me toward the uncharted territories of my pleasure. It was magical. I was magical.
Coming home, I brought my magic with me. I was glowing, and my world shifted. My husband and I had some of the wildest sex of our entire relationship, and our connection felt laced with playful tension. I could see the light brighten in my friends after we’d connected—texts of awe and inspiration came through, wondering, “What sort of juju took place?” because they could feel it radiating through me. My work felt easeful and purposeful after weeks of confusion and uncertainty in my direction and in myself. I felt alive.
If I’m being more pragmatic, it wasn’t the sort of magic and “juju” that most people think about. It was the kind of magic where the sacredness of erotic expression was honored. It was the kind of “juju” where 80+ women created a safe space free from shame, guilt, comparison, and judgment. It was an invitation to feel, sense, play, learn, and connect. It was a sanctuary for me to discover more of who I am: more about my desires, my fears, my purpose, and my pleasure.
Your Sensory Guide to Exploration
Even if you never get the opportunity to gather in the jungle of Costa Rica, dance under the moonlight, and dive into the deepest parts of your eroticism while you and 80+ other women cry, moan, scream, pant, whimper, and growl to the sounds of the ocean, simultaneous orgasms, and shared pleasure—although I highly recommend it—you can still explore your desires and discover your eroticism through your senses and with deep intention.
We have been gifted individual maps to our pleasure in the form of our senses. A touch, a sound, a taste, a view, a smell, a mental image, a feeling—these are the indicators of what feels good, what turns you on, what arouses you, what pushes you over the edge toward ecstasy, and what brings you to your point of carnal expression. I call them Erotic Pleasure Points, and here’s why each of them is important:
Physical: Bodily & Visual
Your body is the vessel for pleasure. Learning to physically and visually explore it builds awareness of what feels good, what feels enlivening, what feels pleasurable — and what doesn’t, because that’s important too! Connecting with your body (through mirror work, erotic and sensual touch, spicy reads, etc.) can increase confidence, self-admiration, and safety. Sharing your body with a partner in this way allows you both to build trust and intimacy together. When you know what touch or sight excites or soothes you, you can communicate it more honestly and specifically to a partner and enjoy solo exploration without hesitation. You become so familiar with the landscape of your pleasure that you can comfortably surrender to it.
Mental: Awareness & Thought
The brain is your biggest erogenous zone. Fantasies and thoughts allow you to access pleasure even when physical touch or visual stimulation aren’t involved. Arousing your mind builds creativity, self-awareness, and a deeper understanding of your desires. Tuning into your mental erotic pleasure points can reduce shame, spark new ideas for connection, and make you feel empowered in your sexuality and desires. “Being in your head” doesn’t have to detract from your pleasure; it can be an ally — one of my favorites, actually.
Emotional: Mood & Feeling
Emotional safety and connection are the foundations of fulfilling intimacy. Feeling desired, loved, taken care of, or even playful and naughty can amplify pleasure and help you relax into the experience. Emotional exploration also strengthens trust in yourself and your partner, inviting adventure and healthy “risk and reward” into the partnership. When you nurture your emotional well-being, it becomes easier to open yourself up to vulnerability and transparency, creating deeper, more connected experiences — a place where your pleasure feels safe to thrive.
Auditory: Sound (external & internal)
Sound creates a direct pathway to the nervous system, enhancing arousal or relaxation — or even signaling disconnect, discomfort, or pain. Experimenting with sound helps you release inhibitions, communicate desires, and enjoy a fuller sensory experience. A moan or melody can easily communicate more than words, heightening the erotic connection with yourself or a partner. Maybe you find that when your favorite audio-erotic creator “talks you through it,” you’re able to edge yourself and marinate in the pleasure rather than submitting to a quicker release. Maybe when you hear yourself moan, grunt, sigh, cry, or whimper, you reach peaks you’ve never even imagined. Sound is also the gift of breath — a beautiful reminder that breath is a generator for pleasure.
Olfactory: Aroma & Taste
Smell and taste are deeply connected to memory and emotion, making them powerful triggers for arousal and pleasure. They also add a playful, multi-sensory element to your exploration — like the time I was fed chocolate while being caressed with fingers and whispers during my retreat in Costa Rica. It’s the reason the scent of a specific perfume or cologne can drive you wild, or the taste of a decadent treat can anchor you in the moment. It’s also an instinctual way to know when something doesn’t feel good, pleasurable, or desirable. Playing with your senses is as much about discovering what you like as it is about recognizing what you don’t. When you entice these dominant senses, you enhance the richness of your experience, creating space for exactly what pleases you — and a partner.
Discovery Is Curiosity in Action
Pleasure is not a destination; it’s a journey of delicious curiosity and connection with yourself and your partner — if you have one… or a few. When it comes to your senses, it’s about slowing down and being intentional. It’s about savoring the moment with enough mindfulness to become familiar with what pleasure truly is for you. Here are a few simple ways to explore the five key sensory areas to ignite your pleasure and discover your erotic pleasure points:
Physical: Bodily & Visual
Explore: Start by touching different areas of your body — light strokes, firm pressure, or even using a textured object. Focus on the sensations and let your curiosity guide you. If partnered, take turns exploring each other’s bodies with no goal except discovery.
Action: Try running your fingers or a soft feather along your inner arms, thighs, or back while looking in the mirror. For couples, undress each other slowly while complimenting what you see.
Mental: Awareness & Thought
Explore: Engage your mind by fantasizing, reading erotica, or playing with your imagination. Focus on what thoughts turn you on or make you feel alive.
Action: Write down a steamy fantasy or share one with your partner during pillow talk. Let yourself be unapologetically creative and specific.
Emotional: Mood & Feeling
Explore: Pleasure thrives when you feel safe and emotionally connected. Tune into what makes you feel loved, desired, or confident. Create rituals that build emotional intimacy.
Action: Write a love letter to yourself, focusing on what makes you irresistible. Spend 10 minutes daily holding eye contact in the mirror or with your partner, expressing gratitude for yourself or each other.
Auditory: Sound (external & internal)
Explore: Discover how sound affects your arousal. Play sensual music, notice your breathing patterns, or experiment with vocalizing pleasure.
Action: Hum or moan lightly as you touch yourself to see how it shifts your sensations. Try whispering sweet (or naughty) words during foreplay to amplify desire.
Olfactory: Aroma & Taste
Explore: Aromas and tastes can ignite pleasure in surprising ways. Play with scents like essential oils or indulge in foods that tantalize your senses.
Action: Light a candle with a scent that makes you feel sexy, like vanilla or sandalwood. Feed yourself or each other chocolates or fruit, and savor the textures and flavors together.
Get the Most Out of Your Exploration:
Set the Scene: Create a space where you feel relaxed and open to exploring. Use soft lighting, cozy fabrics, and anything that makes you feel sensual — whatever makes you feel good!
Stay Present: Pleasure isn’t just about the act; it’s about fully experiencing the sensations, thoughts, and emotions in the moment.
Be Curious: What feels good today might surprise you tomorrow. Stay open to evolving desires and give yourself permission to lean in when you might want to pull away.
By exploring these five sensory areas, you’ll deepen your relationship with pleasure, whether you’re basking in self-love or sharing intimacy with a partner. Remember that erotic discovery takes time, patience, curiosity, intention, and an allowance for surrender. Remind yourself (and your partner) to breathe, that it’s okay to go slow, and that there’s no pressure to perform. You’ll be surprised how much pleasure just that might bring.
The Big Picture: Why It All Matters
Discovering your pleasure and exploring these sensory areas isn’t just about arousal—it’s about living a fuller, more connected life. By tapping into your physical sensations, mental creativity, emotional depth, auditory awareness, and olfactory/taste experiences, you cultivate a deeper understanding of yourself and your eroticism. This self-knowledge leads to more confidence, better communication with a partner, and the ability to show up authentically in every area of your life.
When you embrace these sensory layers of pleasure, you’re not just enjoying the moment — you’re creating a life where joy, connection, desire, and intimacy thrive. There’s a reason my manifesto is “Fully Expressed, Safely Loved, and Well Fucked!” — I hope you get more than just a taste of it!
TL;DR
I had the most erotic experience of my life on a retreat in Costa Rica and it shaped the way I view my pleasure.
There are five key sensory areas that are paramount to unlocking what I call our Erotic Pleasure Points; Physical, Mental, Emotional, Auditory, & Olfactory.
Discovery is Curiosity in Action: I give options to explore and take action with these five key sensory areas for you and your partner.
Honestly at this point, you’d probably be better off just going back and reading the article. — it’s pretty juicy.
We’re better together, so come say “Hi” on the socials @BriannaEndrina and if you’re feeling inspired, leave me a comment on what other areas of pleasure you’d like guidance on and/or share this post with three of your peeps!
There is having sex and there is making love. Sex can be done in 15 minutes making love there is no time only eternity
Yummy