Is It Safe To Come Out Yet?

My Viral TikTok Video Gave Me The Courage To Accept My Queerness

Photo by Michał Turkiewicz on Unsplash

Ending up on the WLW (women loving women) side of the clock app was the moment I knew for certain that all the times I felt the pull towards other women throughout my life was not just some phase or fleeting attraction. It was my personhood showing me that the landscape of my desire was not a straight edge.

I fell into an internet pool of bisexual women who were in the genre of queerness that I’d been trying to understand my entire marriage. I felt like I’d found answers and a community of people who genuinely “get it”.

I posted a video in 2022 that went a bit viral — 5.4 million views kinda of viral. What followed was 70k people hitting the plus sign and a whole gang of straight passing cis-women, married to men, who were also finally accepting, exploring and eagerly sharing their journeys of queerness. Among the crowd were also the gold-star lesbians, the gays and theys who were in full support offering love, care and a whole lot of compliments as I stepped into my #babygay era. It was a feeling I’m still not fully able to explain.

I met mutuals that became IRL (in real life) friends, went to my first GIW (Girls In Wonderland) event, celebrated my first PRIDE, attended queer dinners & parties, and started feeling a lot more at home in my sexuality.

What no one talks about is the contraction and the imposter syndrome that comes with this kind of self-acceptance— as a “late bloomer”.